Douche Cupcakes.

August 12, 2010


This article from The Awl is kind of awesome, in that it points out the foodie-drawn in the sand between “real” junk food and ” fake” junk food, and the bougie moral high ground we are apt to take when it comes to such.

Claire Zulkey writes, “Many of us wouldn’t be caught dead eating a Twinkie: we’ve all been told that Twinkies never age because they’re made of wicked unnatural ingredients, Twinkies are filled with whale blubber, Twinkies will give you cancer. Yet you’d pay $12 for the honor of eating the {expensive bakery} “Twinkie,” even though they both may have the same amount of calories.”

I mean, I have literally done this. The Whoopie Pie from Le Patisserie is insanely delicious, and costs about $4. Chances are, I am not eating Whoopie Pies out of a box from a truck stop, partly because they don’t taste good, and party because they are scientifically gross. It really doesn’t have anything to do with calories, for me at least.

I think Zulkey kind of misses the point that it very well might take $12 dollars to make an ethically sourced, delicious indulgent Twinkie, and that it is, just that, an indulgence. It’s a once a month treat, it’s an option. And if you split it with a friend it’s only $6 and you won’t feel gross afterwards. (Icing makes me gag. I’d rather eat a loaf of warm crusty bread than a fucking Magnolia Cupcake any day.)

And isn’t there something to be said for supporting local businesses, who make choices about food that you agree with?

Does it assuage your guilt to make them at home? Baking is a workout! It’s hot!

Eating is about more than calorie content, right? It’s about satisfaction and experience. It’s about company and culture.

Anyway, who needs more guilt about food?!?

First-World Problems.



5 Responses to “Douche Cupcakes.”

  1. Jenn said

    This is great.

  2. Amanda said

    Oh, I will CERTAINLY pay lots of $$$ to eat a “fancy” version of a crappy treat. Red velvet whoopie pies? Um, hello!
    And you don’t eat dessert to watch your calories…you eat dessert cause it’s f*cking delicious and just makes your life better.

  3. Regina said

    I made some non douchey blueberry muffins today. Though of you;) Awesome recipe called for yogurt instead of buttermilk or milk…I used Stonyfield Organic Peach. So F-ing good.

  4. Nora said

    FUCK YEAH! BREAD totally owns gross icing. And people who associate “health” and good food choices with calorie intake are dumb dumbs.

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